Wednesday, June 29, 2016
There is also an entire tree waiting inside the stone, which also points backwards and forwards to the blossoms of spring. Floating worlds of ephemera? Or relentless Hegelian process?
The blood of cherries looks very much like our own. Perhaps that’s why I think of periods and such: that regular visit of blood, which, in my case represents a sort of blind will: my womb keeps barreling along, oblivious of the blank spaces: the empty bassinets and such reminders of a bitterly resolved freedom.
Or should I return to the sterile but beautiful double-blossoms of ornamental sakuras? That is the sort of question: aesthetic over utility. Is an aesthetic a sort of utility? Where is the categorical imperative of pink and white?
But let’s be honest. The real reason cherries exist is to take one of two paths: either into Schwarzwälder Kirschtorte or, a double scoop of Molly Moon’s Cherry Chunk ice cream.
Close by there is a park and there is a bench. There is the sun and lovers on the grass. My thoughts, for a moment no longer graft and struggle in the enormity of this life. At quiet times like these the world seems loudest. But one spoonful of cherry ice cream and hot fudge and... the parliament of my soul is silent.
Dare I call it causality? Synchronicity? Or just delicious?
Thursday, June 16, 2016
It could be a day like any other day. No, it's not. It comes and it goes. It is June and no June is exactly like the other. 'So complex there is no way its an accident:" for some that is proof of God and that is fine. I don't think this God cares which direction people pray, what they eat, whom they love. If it is an accident, well, am I supposed to be overawed at the spectacle of physics? Then that is perfectly acceptable as well.
Look at that thing. Is it even a thing? Is the tree a frame, is it leaves? Is it billions of constituents so small it needs a God to understand. Would God want to? Does God really need to?
I'm really just a woman lying in the grass watching a cloud go by. That is one story. That is one small event. all part of the perceptual framework I suppose. Wavelengths. Goethe versus Newton and all of that. I side with Goethe today, and give Newton his due some other time because that is a maple tree and no apples shall fall and taint the Earth with sin of knowledge of good and evil. As if they have a place here.
I have no funeral to go to. No son to find. That is someone else's story but it is so part of me now, but each word is a miracle. Snowflakes. Time does all of that as well, and the only permanency are the fleeting ghosts in the borders of this place. Some are mine, and some are others.
The most melancholy ghosts walk in the shadows of a summer day, but Immanuel was right. I can't really know the Geist an sich. Or was that Georg? Or is the day so beautiful I conflate the two? I'll take his arm and go walking with him and get a vanilla ice cream milkshake and we'll return to this symphony I will never hear the same way twice.
Yes, I said. Yes. I will. Yes.
Thursday, June 9, 2016
I had written others words for so long. Like a lot of people around here I was somewhat listless in my 30's. I was over-educated and not making very much use of my degrees. Of what use is someone who wrote her senior thesis on Kant? I was working part time in a library and as an admin assistant and notary.
But I've done many things, read many books and traveled to many places. Those experiences kept coming in words.
The words came on the ferry, or standing in line for a slice of pizza.
Mountains of desolation, the special kind that is not wilderness but a great heap of rock and soil that is returning to the benevolent senility of wilderness because the people of the mountain are gone.The sentences crowded out his sentences when it was dark and all he could talk about was his job.
Twilight in Arles has a cast of sapphire, the really deep kind that appears as a light, some inverse of brightness that lives and carves memory. The stars are punctuation.The paragraphs ran out, like coffee after the initial rush of the spill—soaking every paper, making emotions and thoughts.
I will never escape the smell of wild fennel and the river. Cold, fresh water has a mineral smell, that remains there beneath Coppertone and hops. The cold, fresh water ran deep near Ancil Hoffman Park.But there was no place for me to write. I will skip over the years of loneliness for that place. I’ve written about it before and that wouldn’t have happened if I hadn’t found a place to write. One night my friend Shannon took me to a poetry reading at a place I’d heard of called Richard Hugo House. That was the first time I had heard Elizabeth. It was wonderful and thoroughly uncomfortable. Uncomfortable? It was hard to discover this powerful stranger had been inhabiting my mind-and-being for years it seemed because how else could she have written those words?
I remember buying her chapbook on the table and sheepishly getting her to sign it. After enduring my fumbled words about what I was doing there, she simply wrote out “you can do this too, Ada, -may your writing thrive.”
And I came back. Alix suggested I talk to Chris about volunteering at my first Write-O-Rama. Kate figured out it should have been tapioca flour and a villanelle. When I see a Yankees cap in town I hope it’s Brian because I want to ask him something. John let me borrow a book by Li Bai. Peter finally got that novel out of me. Michael was running the lights on the first time I read out loud in the cabaret. Claire and Kristen loaned me a $20 after I forgot my purse at the Palace after ERH. And Tree, Laura, Rebecca, Jeremy… I am leaving someone out because there are so many people in there.
Because place is not some physical sensation—an architectural memory of space, planes, textures and cold draughts.
It is the people who make imagination possible—who make a place.
June 25th is Write-O-Rama from 1:00-6:00. It’s a half day of mini-worshops where you can get a taste of what’s being taught and by whom. And you will meet other writers! Consider upping your ticket to a membership and start writing. If you haven’t been in a while, it’s a great way to see the new temporary home of Hugo House at 1021 Columbia St.Seattle, WA 98104
For more about Write-O-Rama, visit the page and get your ticket today.
Wednesday, June 1, 2016
I have no real idea what a hawk is thinking or feeling while it flies up there. Perhaps it's hungry, but I'm not exactly sure what that feels like in hawk terms. I can only guess it feels clumsy, perhaps a deep unsure sense of the air currents. It makes mistakes but how is it aware of that? I wouldn't know. I am not a hawk.
Crows are a little different. They've lived with us for long enough for us to know a bit about each other. They speak to me:
"I'm tired."I don't know, but I can hear that more easily. The language is croaky and harsh to my ears, but perhaps that is all familiarity is: a clattering that grows into language and communication.
"You better not be coming over near my kids."
"Let's fuck with this stink-ape,"
"I think it's going to rain today," or
"Can't you do something about those goddamned raccoons?"
And I'm guessing they have some theological opinions.